Category: Struggles

Feeling Judged With Diabetes

Feeling Judged With Diabetes

Feeling Judged With Diabetes

Dealing with diabetes is more than just a number. It’s more than an A1C result, a blood sugar reading, or the amount of carbs I’ve eaten throughout the day. It’s the endless minutes, hours, days, and years that I’ve been battling this disease.

If diabetes wasn’t hard enough—I often feel shame or guilt for how I manage my diabetes. I get the sense of anxiety and nervousness before going to an endocrinologist appointment. As if I have something to prove, and I’m needing acceptance.

It’s a look—or unspoken judgment that is presented. I feel uneasy and withdrawn—thinking to myself that maybe I’m not doing as great as I thought I was. Being told what I could be doing better, rather than all that I am doing right.

I think it’s a lack of communication and understanding. I feel misunderstood and judged with diabetes. I know that my health care team work towards helping me, but I sometimes feel like they don’t understand me. It’s one thing to be educated in something, but it’s another to be truly in depth with it.

Don’t get me wrong—I take a huge part in this as well. There are ways I could better communicate to my endocrinologist and health care providers. After all, there’s no one else who knows my diabetes better than myself. I know what works and what doesn’t. It’s been a lot of trial and error over the years. What’s great is when I can find a doctor who is on my team and we work great together. They understand where I’m coming from—while I can correspond with their recommendations.

By explaining that I’m trying my best but maybe could use help in certain areas.

Even when trying my hardest my efforts don’t always seem to show.

Why I don’t wish to try a certain medication and why I’m avid about it.

That having different views or ways of doing things doesn’t mean “noncompliant”.

How I’m feeling a certain way and that it’s okay to feel this way.

That sometimes just by having a solid conversation, helps ease my mind a bit. Hearing that I am doing a good job makes all the difference going forward.

Receiving some appraisal for being at this appointment, that I care, and to make me feel a little better leaving.

Feeling less judged with diabetes and being understood by my physician helps my diabetes management which ensures a better meWhile I do need their expertise and care, I also need myself in this more than anything. I know in the end it will be methat will get me to tomorrow, next week, 5 years, 10 years, 30 years down the line. I know what I’m capable of, and how far I’ve come. Nobody knows that but myself—that’s all that really matters. In this journey, I’m my own captain, leader, worst enemy, fan, advocate, everything.

Overcoming An Eating Disorder With Diabetes

Overcoming An Eating Disorder With Diabetes

Overcoming An Eating Disorder With Diabetes

With being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes since the age of 12, I never anticipated all the hurdles that I would have to overcome over the years including overcoming an eating disorder with diabetes. Nor did I ever anticipate having diabetes at all—but here I am.

Throughout my teen years, I battled with my weight. Whether it be due to hormones or my diabetes—it was painful for me to look in the mirror. A lot of my anger and denial towards this disease was because I didn’t know how to accept it. Many of my peers didn’t have to face this reality—so why did I have to?

Many of negative feelings towards this disease led into depression, poor eating habits and lack of exercise. I was often picked on in school for my weight. I separated myself from people to avoid being judged or misunderstood. It was hard growing up with a life threatening disease and coping with everything else going on in my life.

When I reached the age of 19, I suffered a short period of time with an eating disorder called diabulimia. This is where I restricted my amount of insulin in order to lose weight.  What I find so devastating about this disorder is that I was fully aware of the severity and consequences involved. Being that I require insulin to survive and for my body to flourish, I was essentially depriving my body of energy which could have led to death.

It wasn’t long before I broke the vicious cycle I was on. I couldn’t bare how I was feeling and what I was doing to my body. In my mind, I couldn’t justify the benefits over the risks anymore. A lot of what woke me up to the reality and what could happen to my body was a diabetic man named John (who I met). John was a 60-year-old man who suffered many complications after not taking care of himself over the years.

In the process of overcoming an eating disorder with diabetes , I started making major changes in my life. I started exercising exclusively. I also started watching what I eat. The more I started taking care of myself and my body on the outside, the better I felt on the inside. I still battle with my weight every day, but now that I’m on a good routine and regimen, it’s made my diabetes and other factors easier to cope with. A lot of what I’ve battled within this disease is mental, and that’s my biggest hurdle yet.

I’m wanting to bring attention to this important issue because it’s a problem I dealt with and needs more awareness. Type 1 Diabetics (woman and young females especially) are highly more susceptible to eating disorders—such as diabulimia. Having to constantly monitor blood sugar levels, diet, exercise, and manage weight can be detrimental on one’s self-esteem. The treatment and recovery can go far beyond just the diabetic themselves. It’s important to seek treatment and support from a physician and other reliable resources.


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diabetes burnout

Dealing With Diabetes Burnout: How It Is Different For Everyone

When hearing the phrase “Diabetes Burnout” the first thing that comes to mind is a form of severe distress. But when having type 1 diabetes for so many years, I know this isn’t always the case.

How can we directly define what dealing with Diabetes Burnout means for those that are diabetic? How come we pinpoint the exact symptoms or signs of having Diabetes Burnout?

We can’t. It’s not a one-size fits all scenario.

Just like how diabetes affects everyone differently, so does the effects of feeling burnt out by the disease. This disease is an everyday, lifelong battle. With no days off, no vacation – it’s a full-time job.

There’s been a time in my life where I would go days without checking my blood sugar – aimlessly taking insulin – and consciously avoiding my diabetes.

That is what I would consider some the worst effects of being burnt out.

Now at the least, from time to time. I feel unmotivated and inconsistent with my diet.

All of which I would consider feeling “burnt out” by diabetes.

Does feeling burnout mean you’re a bad diabetic? Absolutely not. With anything in life, things can become too much to handle at times. But with diabetes, there’s no escaping it.

While battling ourselves, it’s also easy for others to judge. By making assumptions without knowing the actual demands and sacrifices that consist of having diabetes.

I’ll admit it’s hard to break free of feeling burnt out. I’ve battled with feeling helpless, depressed, and overwhelmed with caring for my diabetes.

diabetes burnout

But how can it be avoided? Dealing with Diabetes Burnout is not easy. Are there ways to help bounce back from it?

I went ahead and asked some diabetes groups of how to prevent or reduce the effects of feeling diabetes burnout. Here’s what others have suggested:

1. Taking vitamins.

By taking vitamins such as B-12 has helped others boost their spirits, energy, and helped them stay motivated. As well as Vitamin D, which helps boost your mood. Vitamins can help our bodies where we have a deficiency.

2. Exercising and staying active.

Exercising helps to lose weight and increases serotonin in the brain. Serotonin helps enhance mood, which helps to make you feel good.

3. Getting involved.

Participating in support groups, volunteer events, fundraisers, charities, and diabetes advocacy are all great ways to support the cause. By being involved helps you stay focused and determined to make a difference. Not only are you making a difference in your life, but others as well.

4. Setting a goal.

When setting goals, it’s important to be realistic. Making small changes can help achieve those goals, rather than] setting expectations too high in a short amount of time. Whether it be lowering your A1C, losing weight, or making certain lifestyle changes.

5. Starting from square one.

Sometimes the best thing to do is start from where you began. It’s a task to break bad habits and develop new ones. But it can be revitalizing to start fresh. By re-evaluating how to manage diabetes, re-educating yourself, and essentially gaining a new perspective.

diabetes burnout

This journey we’re on is a crazy ride. What I’ve learned from having diabetes, is it’s a lot of trial and error. Seeing what works and what doesn’t. Our bodies, minds, and our diabetes are each our own. By identifying and accepting our flaws, we can make improvements for the better.  I’ve taken the unnecessary pressure off by knowing there is no such thing as perfection with diabetes. “I am human after all“. All I can do is strive to be better. Strive for improvements in my life. That’s my success story.

“Maybe life isn’t about avoiding the bruises. Maybe it’s about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it.”