Tag: mom with diabetes

Fertility, Diabetes, & My Miracle Baby

Fertility and Diabetes –

Fertility and Diabetes –


Dear Diabetes,

I lived my life for 33 years with an ease I never understood that I had before you showed up. I had fun and carefree late nights, spontaneous days, and memories that will last forever in bright vivid color.

I met my husband, got married, and decided it was time to really start our family. Then came the word infertility. We decided to start this journey with fertility drugs and were ready.

Then I began to experience symptoms. I began to lose weight. I was SO tired. Then came the water. Drinking and drinking, I just never could get enough. I knew something was wrong but thought it could be just the side effects of the fertility drugs.

I called my OBGYN and she suggested I take a 2 hr glucose test in their office just to rule out diabetes.

My ovulation test indicated pre-ovulation the day before my 2 hr glucose test. We started trying to get pregnant that night. Then the morning of my 2 hr glucose test I was ovulating.

We were planning on trying again when we got home at the end of the day. It was a normal day. My husband went to work. I played with my niece and painted her nails. Then I got the call.

You have diabetes. You must go to the ER now.

This wasn’t suppose to happen. I cried to the doctors that I was ovulating and there might be a chance I was pregnant from the night before. All precautions were taken as I started learning my new normal. I went into the hospital seemingly healthy and left battered, bruised and broken.

The color of the sky, the color of my niece’s nail polish, the color of my world.. was gone. Spontaneous days were now filled with planning. Carefree nights were taken over by you.

The hope of having a child was blurred. The world felt like stone.

Three months after you stormed into my life my A1c was down from 10.7 to 6.1. I was still tracking my ovulation, but was not taking any fertility medication. One day my test said I was ovulating. Two weeks later another test said I was pregnant.

You made life so hard for me. I worked so hard to keep the growing child inside me safe from you. Nine months felt like nine years with you by my side. My due date was October 23rd, also, my first diaversary.

At 38 weeks and 6 days, I gave birth to a beautiful 7 pound baby girl. The moment she looked up at me and all I could see was her BLUE eyes.

Ever since I saw those blues eyes, color has tried to slowly make it’s way back into my life.

I see it every time she smiles with those little white teeth and cherry red lips. I see it in her soft light brown hair that goes in a wave over her ear and I see it in her rosy cheeks. I see life again.

Everyday is not going to be easy, but everyday I’m going to fight.

Because I have snuggles to give, monsters to chase, graduations to see, wedding bells to hear, and grandchildren to love. And if you would excuse me, Type 1 Diabetes, I have a little toddler’s nails to paint.

-Becky


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A Heartbreak Like No Other

It’s a Heartbreak Like No Other

By: Jessica Hale

It’s a moment of heartbreak unlike any other I have ever experienced in my life. That moment that you realize that your 2-year-old child gets it. She knows that you’re different and your lifestyle is different than any other person she interacts with. She’s 2 years old and she understands as selfishly as this may sound; that I have medical needs that sometimes require me to put myself before the wants and sometimes needs of my own child. That alone rips me to pieces inside.

But the moment you realize that your child gets the fact that there is something not right with you and she tries to help. Everything that you’re supposed to stand for as a parent seems to be ripped out from under your feet, you are the protector, the comforter, the nurturer. But when that role gets flipped and you’re staring up at your 2-year-old who’s trying to help you with your low blood sugarit’s a heartbreak like no other.

A Heartbreak Like No Other

I was in the middle of getting Chey ready for bed and out of nowhere I’m too weak to stand or walk. So I have to crawl my way to the fridge and sit there in front of it trying to stay coherent and not nod out of consciousness before the sugar has time to hit my system. While doing that I didn’t notice that Chey had moved a box over to the cabinet to where she could step on it and reach on top of the counter to grab my sugar kit. She brings it to me and says “here is your ouch momma” because she knows that it’s used to draw blood and it’s an ouch when you see blood.

And when she handed me my blood sugar tester and put her hand on my shoulder and asked “are you alright“? My heart broke in pieces I never knew existed. I can’t hide this disease at times no matter how hard I try to keep her away from it and as a parent, it hurts because you want to seem invincible; to never show weakness.┬áBut with a disease like mine, you get the shit knocked out of you sometimes, and your child is there watching you take that beating and it makes you feel like a failure.

But at the same time of the heartbreak, my heart also swelled with such adoration in the type of child I am raising. One who is 2 years old but with a soul as old as time, the one who already has her hand out to help another one up, and the one whose compassion shines through her very core. A 2-year-old that can show an adult how to be selfless at times and I can’t express to you how much I adore this child of mine. She’s my silver lining, forever and always…