My Life as a Diabetic Mother

Just like diabetes—motherhood is a lot of work.

Both are full-time jobs.

Not one is more important than the other.

For me—they go hand in hand.

I get asked often “how do you manage”  The kids—they mean.

But of course, that’s only half of the equation in my life.

Not many people realize the other half.

The half that I have to battle every day.

Nobody understands how impending diabetes is in every aspect of my life.

It’s certainly made me the strong mother that I am today.

But it’s also made me unlike other mothers as well.

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I’m the mother who pricks her finger several times a day, and those numbers determining whether it’s safe to attend to my children.

The one who packs for an army to leave the house for a quick errand. But never being fully prepared enough.

The mother who has to take breaks constantly and has to eat the snack that my child wants desperately. Knowing that sometimes I have to come first.

The one who has to go to as many doctor appointments—if not more than my children.

I’m the mother who wants to vent to an open ear but doesn’t think they would understand.

The mother trying to lose weight, only to have a difficult time due to having to treat lows.

I’m one who carries guilt, wanting to be the best mother and not wanting diabetes to inhibit that in any way.

I’m the mother who worries about going to sleep at night—fearing about not waking up in the morning.

The mother who is constantly attached to devices, and always setting off alarms.

The one with erratic mood swings, an inconsistent schedule, and a low blood sugar peaking around the corner.

I’m the mother who carries around the weight of this disease on her shoulders every day.

The one who worries every minute of every day—wondering if I’m doing this right.

I’m the mother who is concerned about the short term implications of this disease and having to accept the long-term effects that correlate.

The mother who works so hard every day at this disease so that I can see my grandchildren one day.

I may have diabetes—but diabetes doesn’t have me. Diabetes has given me the tools to fight. But being a mother has given me the reason to fight. 

My life may not be ordinary, easy, or simple.

I may have my bad days, my setbacks, and my doubts.

But I go on despite them.