Fertility and Diabetes -

Dear Diabetes,

I lived my life for 33 years with an ease I never understood that I had before you showed up. I had fun and carefree late nights, spontaneous days, and memories that will last forever in bright vivid color.

I met my husband, got married, and decided it was time to really start our family. Then came the word infertility. We decided to start this journey with fertility drugs and were ready.

Then I began to experience symptoms. I began to lose weight. I was SO tired. Then came the water. Drinking and drinking, I just never could get enough. I knew something was wrong but thought it could be just the side effects of the fertility drugs.

I called my OBGYN and she suggested I take a 2 hr glucose test in their office just to rule out diabetes.

My ovulation test indicated pre-ovulation the day before my 2 hr glucose test. We started trying to get pregnant that night. Then the morning of my 2 hr glucose test I was ovulating.

We were planning on trying again when we got home at the end of the day. It was a normal day. My husband went to work. I played with my niece and painted her nails. Then I got the call.

You have diabetes. You must go to the ER now.

This wasn’t suppose to happen. I cried to the doctors that I was ovulating and there might be a chance I was pregnant from the night before. All precautions were taken as I started learning my new normal. I went into the hospital seemingly healthy and left battered, bruised and broken.

The color of the sky, the color of my niece’s nail polish, the color of my world.. was gone. Spontaneous days were now filled with planning. Carefree nights were taken over by you.

The hope of having a child was blurred. The world felt like stone.

Three months after you stormed into my life my A1c was down from 10.7 to 6.1. I was still tracking my ovulation, but was not taking any fertility medication. One day my test said I was ovulating. Two weeks later another test said I was pregnant.

You made life so hard for me. I worked so hard to keep the growing child inside me safe from you. Nine months felt like nine years with you by my side. My due date was October 23rd, also, my first diaversary.

At 38 weeks and 6 days, I gave birth to a beautiful 7 pound baby girl. The moment she looked up at me and all I could see was her BLUE eyes.

Ever since I saw those blues eyes, color has tried to slowly make it’s way back into my life.

I see it every time she smiles with those little white teeth and cherry red lips. I see it in her soft light brown hair that goes in a wave over her ear and I see it in her rosy cheeks. I see life again.

Everyday is not going to be easy, but everyday I’m going to fight.

Because I have snuggles to give, monsters to chase, graduations to see, wedding bells to hear, and grandchildren to love. And if you would excuse me, Type 1 Diabetes, I have a little toddler’s nails to paint.

-Becky

Related posts: