Feeling Judged With Diabetes
Dealing with diabetes is more than just a number. It’s more than an A1C result, a blood sugar reading, or the amount of carbs I’ve eaten throughout the day. It’s the endless minutes, hours, days, and years that I’ve been battling this disease.
If diabetes wasn’t hard enough—I often feel shame or guilt for how I manage my diabetes. I get the sense of anxiety and nervousness before going to an endocrinologist appointment. As if I have something to prove, and I’m needing acceptance.
It’s a look—or unspoken judgment that is presented. I feel uneasy and withdrawn—thinking to myself that maybe I’m not doing as great as I thought I was. Being told what I could be doing better, rather than all that I am doing right.
I think it’s a lack of communication and understanding. I feel misunderstood and judged with diabetes. I know that my health care team work towards helping me, but I sometimes feel like they don’t understand me. It’s one thing to be educated in something, but it’s another to be truly in depth with it.
Don’t get me wrong—I take a huge part in this as well. There are ways I could better communicate to my endocrinologist and health care providers. After all, there’s no one else who knows my diabetes better than myself. I know what works and what doesn’t. It’s been a lot of trial and error over the years. What’s great is when I can find a doctor who is on my team and we work great together. They understand where I’m coming from—while I can correspond with their recommendations.
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By explaining that I’m trying my best but maybe could use help in certain areas.
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Even when trying my hardest my efforts don’t always seem to show.
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Why I don’t wish to try a certain medication and why I’m avid about it.
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That having different views or ways of doing things doesn’t mean “noncompliant”.
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How I’m feeling a certain way and that it’s okay to feel this way.
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That sometimes just by having a solid conversation, helps ease my mind a bit. Hearing that I am doing a good job makes all the difference going forward.
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Receiving some appraisal for being at this appointment, that I care, and to make me feel a little better leaving.
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Feeling less judged with diabetes and being understood by my physician helps my diabetes management which ensures a better me. While I do need their expertise and care, I also need myself in this more than anything. I know in the end it will be me—that will get me to tomorrow, next week, 5 years, 10 years, 30 years down the line. I know what I’m capable of, and how far I’ve come. Nobody knows that but myself—that’s all that really matters. In this journey, I’m my own captain, leader, worst enemy, fan, advocate, everything.