No One Is Aware Of Diabetes
I wake up today with no saliva in my mouth and a dire quench for thirst. My insulin pump is still giving me insulin. I’m still hooked up to medical devices, but my body is resistant. Maybe due to illness, hormones, or because it’s a Tuesday. My blood sugars are high, much higher than a normal persons blood sugars. I’m tired, fatigued, and the feeling of mortality creeps in. I go to correct with insulin, drink water, and attempt to bring this down. But I know this won’t be the last time I experience this.
But no one notices.
I spent my day monitoring my blood sugars, calculating and measuring how much insulin to give myself. My dosing is only an educated guess, and I have to make these decisions everyday in order to stay alive. But nothing is ever the same or perfect. I’m constantly on a tightrope, hoping not to fall. I’ll do the same thing every single day but receive different results.
When I go to pick up my insulin from the pharmacy, I get this overwhelming sense of sadness. I realize that the same insulin that keeps me alive comes with a huge price. Insulin is one of the most expensive drugs in the United States, and yet I can’t survive without it. Financially, this disease has crushed me. I’m in debt just for trying to stay alive.
But no one cares.
Once I get home, I receive a notification that my blood sugar is low and dropping fast. I feel lightheaded, disorientated, and starving for glucose (energy). I go to the kitchen to grab anything I can find to raise my blood sugar. I feel alone, helpless, and I’m fighting to survive. It’s a near death experience, that I’ve experienced many times. A low feels like my body is shutting down. A low enough number could cause me to go unconscious, have a seizure, coma, or death.
But no one is aware.
The night follows with finding a diabetes joke going viral on the internet. Where it’s mocking the disease, assuming it’s caused by being lazy and eating poorly. This is where I stop and realize that no one notices, no one cares, and no one is aware because nobody actually knows about diabetes.
No one knows that diabetes kills more people than AIDS and Breast Cancer combined. No one knows that diabetes can be caused by an autoimmune disease. No one knows that children are dying from this disease. No one knows the overwhelming sense of fear of not knowing if your blood sugar will withstand the night. No one knows how it feels to experience the highs and lows.
No one knows of our desperation for a cure…
…Except the person living with diabetes.
And those caring for them.
My heart goes out to you and all diabetics. I never knew what it was like for a diabetic until my granddaughter became one.
Very nicely written. I could never put in words how I feel about being type 1 cause I try not to think about it but this is 100% accurate.
I was one of the uninformed ones…even with a nephew and grand neice diagnosed with Type 1. I lived away and only saw them occasionally, but was aware they were living with this condition. What I wasn’t aware of was what that really meant…not until my own sweet and beautiful 5 year old grandson was diagnosed. There are good and bad things related to social media, but I’m so pleased to see lots of information being shared on Facebook and other media. Knowledge and dollars will help bring the cure faster…and it cannot come fast enough for those living with this life changing disease everyday.