Tag: hyperglycemia

WHAT A HIGH BLOOD SUGAR FEELS LIKE

What a High Blood Sugar Feels Like

What a High Blood Sugar Feels Like

The high blood sugars are what gets me. A high blood sugar is a blood glucose above 140 mg/dL. For me, the symptoms I experience with severe hyperglycemia don’t emerge until well over 250-300 mg/dL.  The lows, while urgent and intensely serious are felt differently. I don’t like to compare the two evils but the highs can be just as debilitating and it leaves me incapacitated.

It’s so hard to describe this pain that can’t be seen. I look fine on the outside but inside my body is fighting for energy and I’m suffering from the adverse effects.

In these moments all I want to do is cry but I have no tears. I can’t quench my thirst no matter how much water I drink. My whole body aches and I’m staring at the clock waiting for the insulin I’ve given myself to be absorbed; giving my body the relief and nourishment that I desperately need.

When my blood sugar is high I despise diabetes the most. When it’s high the minutes and possibly hours it takes for my blood sugar to come down is agonizing. I sit uncomfortably, restless, back and forth to the bathroom checking for ketones and blaming myself. When I know that with diabetes anything is possible. It’s absolutely torturous for anyone including myself to have to go through this.

My heads pounding, I’m irritable and utterly exhausted. I feel like I’m being crushed by tons of weight. I can’t move. I can’t think. I can’t function properly. I feel useless. These are the moments that I beg and plead to just get back to where I was before the high blood sugar. I become grateful for the bad days that weren’t as bad as this.

The high blood sugar could have been caused by a pump malfunction, hormones, stress, illness, wrong dosage, or any number of different things. The fact that things I can’t control can cause this is startling and frustrating. All I can do is try my hardest and hope for the best.

Once my blood sugar does start to lower I feel like I’m taking in a breath of fresh air. There really isn’t a better feeling than knowing I’m going to be okay. That these symptoms are going to diminish and I’ll start to feel myself again. My mood starts to shift and the brain fog slowly goes away. The exhaustion lingers for the rest of the day, but thankfully I’m much better.

I feel conquering despite my defeats because even at my weakest points I still fight these unfathomable challenges. These battles are never seen nor felt by anyone besides myself and ALL who battle diabetes. One that I’ll have to fight more than once.


DKA is a serious life-threatening medical condition caused by high glucose levels. This blog content is not medical advice. If you have questions concerning your health please seek attention from a medical professional. 


 

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Nobody Is Aware Of Diabetes

Nobody Is Aware Of Diabetes

Nobody Is Aware Of Diabetes

I wake up today with no saliva in my mouth and a dire quench for thirst. My insulin pump is still giving me insulin. I’m still hooked up to medical devices, but my body is resistant. Maybe due to illness, hormones, or because it’s a Tuesday. My blood sugars are high, much higher than a normal persons blood sugars. I’m tired, fatigued, and the feeling of mortality creeps in. I go to correct with insulin, drink water, and attempt to bring this down. But I know this won’t be the last time I experience this.


But nobody notices.

I spent my day monitoring my blood sugars, calculating and measuring how much insulin to give myself. My dosing is only an educated guess, and I have to make these decisions everyday in order to stay alive. But nothing is ever the same or perfect. I’m constantly on a tightrope, hoping not to fall. I’ll do the same thing every single day but receive different results.

When I go to pick up my insulin from the pharmacy, I get this overwhelming sense of sadness. I realize that the same insulin that keeps me alive comes with a huge price. Insulin is one of the most expensive drugs in the United States, and yet I can’t survive without it. Financially, this disease has crushed me. I’m in debt just for trying to stay alive.

But nobody cares.

Once I get home, I receive a notification that my blood sugar is low and dropping fast. I feel lightheaded, disorientated, and starving for glucose (energy). I go to the kitchen to grab anything I can find to raise my blood sugar. I feel alone, helpless, and I’m fighting to survive. It’s a near death experience, that I’ve experienced many times. A low feels like my body is shutting down. A low enough number could cause me to go unconscious, have a seizure, coma, or death.

But nobody is aware.

The night follows with finding a diabetes joke going viral on the internet. Where it’s mocking the disease, assuming it’s caused by being lazy and eating poorly. This is where I stop and realize that nobody notices, nobody cares, and nobody is aware because nobody actually knows about diabetes.

Nobody knows that diabetes kills more people than AIDS and Breast Cancer combined. Nobody knows that diabetes can be caused by an autoimmune disease. Nobody knows that children are dying from this disease. Nobody knows the overwhelming sense of fear of not knowing if your blood sugar will withstand the night. Nobody knows how it feels to experience the highs and lows.

Nobody knows our desperation for a cure…

…Except the person living with diabetes.
And those caring for them.


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Overcoming An Eating Disorder With Diabetes

Overcoming An Eating Disorder With Diabetes

Overcoming An Eating Disorder With Diabetes

With being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes since the age of 12, I never anticipated all the hurdles that I would have to overcome over the years including overcoming an eating disorder with diabetes. Nor did I ever anticipate having diabetes at all—but here I am.

Throughout my teen years, I battled with my weight. Whether it be due to hormones or my diabetes—it was painful for me to look in the mirror. A lot of my anger and denial towards this disease was because I didn’t know how to accept it. Many of my peers didn’t have to face this reality—so why did I have to?

Many of negative feelings towards this disease led into depression, poor eating habits and lack of exercise. I was often picked on in school for my weight. I separated myself from people to avoid being judged or misunderstood. It was hard growing up with a life threatening disease and coping with everything else going on in my life.

When I reached the age of 19, I suffered a short period of time with an eating disorder called diabulimia. This is where I restricted my amount of insulin in order to lose weight.  What I find so devastating about this disorder is that I was fully aware of the severity and consequences involved. Being that I require insulin to survive and for my body to flourish, I was essentially depriving my body of energy which could have led to death.

It wasn’t long before I broke the vicious cycle I was on. I couldn’t bare how I was feeling and what I was doing to my body. In my mind, I couldn’t justify the benefits over the risks anymore. A lot of what woke me up to the reality and what could happen to my body was a diabetic man named John (who I met). John was a 60-year-old man who suffered many complications after not taking care of himself over the years.

In the process of overcoming an eating disorder with diabetes , I started making major changes in my life. I started exercising exclusively. I also started watching what I eat. The more I started taking care of myself and my body on the outside, the better I felt on the inside. I still battle with my weight every day, but now that I’m on a good routine and regimen, it’s made my diabetes and other factors easier to cope with. A lot of what I’ve battled within this disease is mental, and that’s my biggest hurdle yet.

I’m wanting to bring attention to this important issue because it’s a problem I dealt with and needs more awareness. Type 1 Diabetics (woman and young females especially) are highly more susceptible to eating disorders—such as diabulimia. Having to constantly monitor blood sugar levels, diet, exercise, and manage weight can be detrimental on one’s self-esteem. The treatment and recovery can go far beyond just the diabetic themselves. It’s important to seek treatment and support from a physician and other reliable resources.


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