Category: Inspiration

Perfection Does Not Exist In a Life With Diabetes

Perfection Does Not Exist In a Life With Diabetes –

Perfection Does Not Exist In a Life With Diabetes –

By: Christina Blackmon

15 years ago my life changed forever when I was told I had Type 1 diabetes.

I didn’t even know what diabetes was. I think I thought it meant you can’t eat sugar anymore. Little did I know that when I turned 20 years old my pancreas unexplainably stopped working properly and that would mean that my entire life would now depend on a hormone called insulin being injected into my body for the rest of my life.

Without those insulin injections I would die.

Little did I know that for the rest of my life I would be completely dependent upon this hormone. I also had no idea that my days thereafter would consist of being measured 8-10 times per day by a number. A number I get from pricking myself. Knowing that important number so that I can mathematically calculate how much insulin to inject to maintain good blood glucose range based on a formula that changes hourly without notice.

I also had no idea how unpredictable and unreliable my body would be and that there would be factors outside my control that dictated what my blood glucose levels would be despite eating and calculating “correctly”.

That my blood glucose would go up and down like a roller coaster ride and effect every fiber of my being. That sometimes I would want to crawl out of my own skin to escape the pain I was enduring. That I would go from being completely calm and rational to completely angry and irritable. That my pain would be invisible to others because it’s all happening internally without notice to anyone else.

There is no exact science or prescription to manage diabetes and everyday is a guessing game. Knowledge became my power and I studied and researched everything I could about this unforgivable disease. I found that it’s high maintenance and takes no breaks or vacations.

But I also found some tools that would help me. Tools like an insulin pump and continuous glucose monitor that could help me manage every second, every minute, every hour of every day for the rest of my life.

There is no cure for type 1 diabetes. I will always be dependent upon insulin.

Even with my tools – just like every piece of technology they fail me. But despite this disease I have 2 beautiful healthy kids and one on the way and no diabetic complications. Some days I feel so strong like I can do anything then others I lack the motivation to keep going.

But I never give up. I keep fighting and will keep fighting till there’s no fight left in me.

I don’t ever see any other option. I’m very thankful for the tools I have to manage this disease with everything I have and love when I can encourage or inspire other diabetics to do the same.

People ask me all the time is your diabetes controlled and I just want to laugh…what does that even mean??!! I just always say it’s not perfect and will never be. I don’t try to maintain perfection because diabetes means having bad days. I try to have more good than bad days and not focus on perfection.

Perfection does not exist in a life with diabetes.



 

Why Are They Judging Me?

Why Are They Judging Me?

Why Are They Judging Me?

By: Marrium abid Sandhu

Some people have a background or a story that is so central to their identity that they believe their life would be incomplete without it. Here’s my story..

Why are they judging me?

Is this the reality or do I suffer from schizophrenia? I’m not from another galaxy, I mean, I just have diabetes.

Society took it upon itself to delineate me as a diabetic. On the mention of my name, the ignorant minds of humans formed an image of a weak, disoriented, bewildered and egotistical teenager.

I was nine years old when I was first diagnosed with type-one diabetes. It shook me to my core. I was not old enough to even comprehend what diabetes meant. But the way people around me reacted; it felt as if I was an unstable nucleus emitting radiations.

My heart told me to be optimistic, persuaded me to look at life from this new perspective, but everything in my life went downhill. On various occasions during the early stages, I was able to pick myself up and do my daily chores the normal way but that did not last that way for long.

Pricking my fingers four to five times a day and taking insulin shots before every meal was never an easy task. Until high school, I used to go around hiding the fact that I was a diabetic. I had an irrational fear of people judging me. I hardly socialized. I kept to my room and to myself, reading miserable and depressing novels, injecting myself with something that was supposed to make me better but felt no less than a cruel punishment.

As I grew older,

things started to improve and diabetes became a part of my daily routine. I realized that having diabetes was a part of me but it in no way defined me. It had rehabilitated me. It had made me resilient, mentally and morally.

As I progressed through high school, I craved to do better in academics, sports, and life in general. Having diabetes gave me strength to face any challenge or problem that came my way.

Friends are of imminent importance, you cannot function without having someone to talk to, someone to associate yourself with. Socializing made me grasp the significance and need for someone to share my feelings with, someone to trust with my problems.

My family and I shifted a lot due to my father’s work. Being on the go, I constantly met new people who made me confident in my own skin. I went to Greece on a school trip for 4 weeks. Exploring a new country, a completely different environment was an experience I will trade for nothing.

Doing everything myself, from shopping to laundry, I gained a fair bit of poise and familiarized myself with adapting to a new place and a completely different way of life. The diabetic, anthrophobic girl had transformed.

My hard working and astute sense of nature led me to be selected as a part of my school’s student council and in addition I represented my school in various national level sports competitions. I volunteered myself to help the underdeveloped schools in my city.

I taught English and Mathematics to a group of class 9 students. I saw a whole new way of life within my culture in that school. And now I’m studying architecture in one of the best universities in turkey.

I am a diabetic.

And I do not have a problem with people judging me because of that. If they judge me, it does not depict who I am, it depicts who they are.

To sum it up in the words of Sonia Sotomayor, the current associate justice of the Supreme Court of the United States,

“Diabetes taught me discipline”.



 

Navigating type 1 diabetes and learning along the way

Navigating Type 1 Diabetes and Learning Along the Way

Navigating Type 1 Diabetes and Learning Along the Way

Monica Westley, PhD

Here is my story about our daughter Allison, and the incredible lessons she has taught us. We have always been a family of explorers and adventurers, readers of books and lovers of nature. We encouraged our kids to learn as much about the world as they could. Still, until four years ago, we like so many others, knew very little about type 1 diabetes.

Allison had been losing weight (but growing taller) thirsty (but it was hot here in SoCal) and then began to have flu symptoms. On the second day of the “flu” (DKA) we brought her to her pediatrician. I asked “Could this be high blood sugar”? The pediatrician said, “Oh its very unlikely but why don’t you go to the ER, we don’t have a way to measure that here!”

At the ER, our daughter was lying down, super sick, yet still we had to ask that she be seen several times. We waited for over 3 hours, along with those who were waiting to be seen for a common cold. Finally, in the back, the young doctor sampled her blood with the glucometer and turned to me. “Your daughter has type 1 diabetes. It’s a life long condition for which there is no cure. You will be taken by ambulance to the Children’s hospital where you will learn how to live with this.” And so began our journey.

Initially, its all a blur. You’re thinking,” Ok I think we can fix this if….”. Then you realize there is no way out of this condition, and you must move forward as a family. You start to learn all you possibly can about it and how to optimize blood sugars. For the first 2 years we checked her every night at 2am, and more if her blood sugar didn’t settle down.

Then came the advent of Nightscout, which was a group of amazing parents who hacked into the existing technology to allow the blood sugars to be visualized by parents. Quickly, Medtronic and Dexcom responded with their own “version” of Nightscout. The ability to see Allison’s blood sugars on our phones by our bedside and to be alarmed if she came out of range was invaluable. Our rattled nerves could settle a bit. Now she could go overnight with friends, and that was a freedom gained!

Then we learned about TYPEONE Grit, a low carb, high protein way of eating (WOE) endorsed by Dr. Richard Bernstein, and followed by many. Google him, he’s amazing. This WOE was not recommended by our pediatric endo or the CDE in the hospital, but it was an amazing and invaluable resource and has helped keep her blood sugars much more stable. Another win!

Finally, after she was experiencing many undiagnosable “Highs” I began to search for an answer. Allison uses the Medtronic pump, and I asked our endo to change her from the plastic cannula in the MIO quickset to the SureT needle. Their feeling was that she didn’t really need it. However, when I pressed they changed it. Almost immediately, she was in better control. Yet another win!

From all these experiences we learned, when your child has Type 1 diabetes, you MUST continually be your child’s advocate, you must be proactive, you must keep searching for new advances and ways of doing things. At times you will be exhausted, sad, maybe on your knees, but don’t lose faith! This disease will unexpectedly teach you many things.

What else did we learn? We learned that Allison has an amazing spirit! At times, diabetes dampened her spirit, but it’s ember has never gone out. Her capacity for resilience, tenacity and resourcefulness has grown stronger with every year.

What has she done since her diagnosis? Allison has been class president, homecoming queen, a runway model for JDRF, raised over $20,000 for JDRF. She has worked in a type 1 diabetes research lab at Harvard, started a Hands on Science program at a local underprivileged school and kept it going every week for 3 years, received the Presidential Service Award, National Honor Society recommended, straight As, Cum Laude Society, Peer Mentor leader, started her company Mermaid Medicine, acted in the school musical, created her column “In Someone Else’s Shoes”.

She was named “19 under 19 to watch” and completed 4 years of high school varsity sports. She currently runs the fastest mile on the track team. Allison has also recently been accepted to USC (Merit Scholar) and to Harvard. Right now she is preparing to go on a 2 week wilderness adventure off the grid in the Sierras where she will be the only person with T1D.

Pretty cool, right?

People say, “She makes it look so easy”. And she does. I do want to tell those on “the outside of diabetes” just don’t forget that behind it 24/7/365 she is walking the tightrope of blood sugars. It requires strength and grit. She is strong and most importantly, she is kind. Because of all she deals with in her own diabetes realm, her compassion muscle is very strong. She even gives those like our current US Budget Director Mick Mulvaney, who think there’s one type of diabetes, and judge those who have it, compassion.

Heres what I would share to the “newbie parents”. Be your child’s advocate. Trust your gut, you are on the front lines of this with your child. Be proactive. Never stop learning about the disease and new technology, clinical trials, and ways of eating (WOE). Find community. I formed a group called “The Sugar Mamas” we meet for lunch and keep each other sane. Keep an eye on the online community of diabetes: GLU, CGM in the Cloud, CDN and especially TYPEONEGRIT are all important networks with helpful people, many who have great ideas and inspiration. Most are going through what you are going through. Strength in numbers!

Finally, keep your dreams for your child’s success alive. Encourage them to reach. Encourage yourself to stay strong. Play the song “You’re an Overcomer” really, really loud ! Don’t forget to have fun. If one day is terrible, try again the next day. Look for a sliver of humor in the crazy diabetes things that happen. And don’t forget to pray for the day when we all wake up to the front page headline ” A Cure for Type 1 diabetes has been found”.


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Finding My Purpose By Educating and Helping Those Affected By Type 1 Diabetes

Finding My Purpose By Educating and Helping Those Affected By Type 1 Diabetes

By: Ali Dugger

I have taken over 20,500 insulin injections over my life so far. That’s a lot of syringes. I’ve pricked my fingers about 30,000 times. It’s what we as Type I Diabetics must do to check our blood sugar. Now I only need to prick my fingers twice a day. I wear something called a continuous glucose monitor. My CGM is usually worn on my arm. I’ve pretty much decided it officially makes me half cylon.

The day I was diagnosed was July 10 of 2003, ten days after my 18th birthday.

During that summer, after my high school graduation, my days were filled with lifeguarding, zipping around town in my T-top, white, 1998 Camaro, wakeboarding on Lake Travis wiping out every other turn, and a steady diet of pizza.

I had not been feeling well on that particular day. My mother said, as she always did when one of us was feeling ill, “Test your blood sugar.”

She had been a nurse for eight years already and had been caring for my TID younger brother for about ten. With eyes rolling, I dragged my feet downstairs to do the obligatory finger stick to humor her. Earlier I had devoured some pepperoni pizza, a slice or two of chocolate cake (Carinos’ chocolate cake which is the BEST in the world), and had washed it all down with half a bag of sour patch kids.

Usually I would fake it and call out, “It’s FIIINE, mom, 98!” but this time I sensed I should follow her advice. The meter counted down the five seconds and read, 480. I guffawed to myself thinking I must have had sugar on my finger from my candy craze earlier. So, I tested again. It read 485. I stumbled into the living room and collapsed on the floor letting out a wail. My mom flew down the stairs. The look in her eyes was enough to register she already knew the answer to why I had sounded such an alarm.

Within moments my brothers and father were surrounding me. We all wept. It wasn’t just a few minutes after that the doorbell rang. It was my first date with a boy I had met on the fourth of July. I opened the door and dramatically sobbed, “I have diabeteeeeees.” Before he knew it he was loaded up into our family car, all six of us packed in tightly, and carted off to the hospital.

Type 1 Diabetes is also referred to as Juvenile Diabetes. Only 5% of diabetics are TID. The disease is caused not by diet and exercise rather the immune system turning on the body and killing off the insulin producing cells in the pancreas. Most people are diagnosed under the age of twelve. My brother had even joked that since I was no longer a child, being 18, I was in the clear of ever being diagnosed. To this day I am a firm believer in knocking on wood.

When we discovered my brother had TID I was terrified. He had slowly been wasting away (TID prevents your body from storing fat if untreated) for over a year. My parents had been seeking answers everywhere from the city’s best pediatricians to homeopathic doctors. It wasn’t until my father took him to the ER refusing to leave that they did something. His son was obviously at death’s door.

My brother was only six. Being three years older than him, my mom trusted me to stay home alone with the neighbor boy (I hadn’t gone boy crazy yet so she had no idea what was in store for her down the road). She raced off after them to the hospital. It wasn’t too much later in the day she called home and told me the news, “Your brother has diabetes.” I hung up, looked at the boy, leaned my head on his shoulder with tears in my eyes and said, “My brother has rabies!”

As the years passed diabetes became a part of all of our daily lives.

From time to time I would overhear my mother’s fears about his future and all of the complications TID can cause. It was terrifying and I believed the universe had spared me because lord knows I loved flip flops and couldn’t imagine having to wear tennis shoes all of the time (feet are a big issue with TID due to how it prevents wounds from healing). One of my first thoughts when I was diagnosed was how screwed I would be because I ran around outside like a wild banshee all day.

Even though my life had changed dramatically, I still moved into my university dorm that fall. I also still lived life as if nothing had changed. Halle Barry is a TID and I heard an interview where she said it took five years for her to get it down pact. So I thought, “I’ve got five years until I’ve gotta figure this thing out.” Five years passed, then ten, and even though I had a mother who begged, pleaded, and prodded me to take better care of myself, I always waved her off saying, “Mom, I’m perfectly fine!” I would test my sugar every now and then, take my shots hours after I ate, and sometimes would altogether skip my insulin. I felt and looked like a healthy person! I also ate like a superstar and was a yoga instructor (and we all know yoga cures everything in India).

My complications began to arise a few years ago.

It happened so slowly it snuck up on me. At the time, I was a middle school teacher. I attributed my exhaustion and fatigue to stress and managing a classroom of 34 students. Eventually I went to the doctor and I was told I had a leaky heart. They recommended I reduce the stress in my life and really take my TID seriously. I resigned from teaching the next day.

But, that still did not move me to get my act together completely. There was a sense of procrastination when it came to accepting my TID just like most of us do when it comes to going to the gym. Every day I would tell myself, “Oh tomorrow you’ll test your blood sugar at all of the right times and take the right amount of insulin.” It wasn’t until 2016 when the gravity of my situation hit me.

My health was suffering to the point where I couldn’t hold down a job.

My relationship of several years had deteriorated. I had a sense of dread and despair clouding my mind every day. I was confused. I really had no complaints in life! Why was I suffering on the inside so much?

Well, let me tell you. Uncontrolled TID messes with everything, even your hormones. My body was imbalanced from head to toe and it was screaming in every way possible for me to do something about it. Many mornings were spent with my head in the toilet after sleeping on the bathroom floor all night. I experienced uncontrollable bowels while out dancing with my friends (oh do I have some spectacular stories about that!). I kept my apartment at a cool 55 degrees because I felt I was about to combust half of the time. I drank gallons of water daily and looked as if you could blow me a kiss and I would fly away. Some days my vision would be so impaired I would have to pull over on the side of the road and practice squinting until I could see well enough to drive again.

My boyfriend and I eventually broke up and I moved out to LA back in with my parents. I planned on staying with them for a few months while I looked for a new job and place to live. Little did I know 2016 would be the toughest, roughest year of my life.

Every person experiences diabetes differently so I won’t go into the details of what I endured. However, I will share that I spent about a quarter of that year in the hospital, and the other three quarters holed up in my bedroom buried under my blankets. All of my complications came pouring out of me like the Hoover dam opening its floodgates. Gastroparesis, Retinopathy, Neuropathy, and then some really off the wall complications such as Dupuytren’s Contracture started filling up my medical records. I became incredibly depressed.

But soon I buckled down, turned it around, and started to change my daily habits.

Towards the end of the year I had nearly done a 180 degree turn around. To celebrate, I decided it was time to start dating again! So of course, not knowing how to really go about doing that, I signed up for Tinder. I went on a few dates here and there but there was one date in particular that would change my life forever.

I can’t even tell you his name. But I can tell you what kind of motorcycle he rode, a Triumph. It was 9:00 at night and I was feeling restless. We had briefly chatted on text and he mentioned he was going for a ride around LA to check out the skyline. Giggling, I replied, “Why don’t you come pick me up, Night Rider?” and he did. We rode around LA for about an hour. I clasped tightly to him as we raced down the 405. I realized quickly over In-and-Out this was not a crazy Irishman I could ever see myself taking seriously.

He dropped me off back home and said cheesily, “You’ve inspired me to be a better man. May I kiss you?” I promptly said, “No.” (demurely of course) referring back to my Tinder caption OLD FASHIONED. He rode off into the night and I made my way up the old rickety brick steps to our house.

It wasn’t until I was showered and in bed that I noticed my sheets were wet. “What in the world?” I thought annoyedly assuming one of the dogs had dragged some slobber coated toy under my sheets. But to my horror, it was my feet! They were leaking fluid like water faucets.

The podiatrist would tell me two weeks later (yes I waited that long to see the foot doctor. Neosporin and gauze does NOT do the trick) that I had third degree burns down to the bone, even exposing some tendons in my toes. I had burned my feet on the Triumph’s tailpipes and had not felt the heat due to my already existing neuropathy.

I didn’t walk for nearly four months. I’m a gamer so I thought, “Perfect! Now I can hit level 60!” I saw the situation as a little break from adulting for a bit. So, when the doctor gave me the okay to walk again I was feeling even more ready and refreshed to get out there, get employed, and finally move into my own place.

My first day out on the town I headed to the mall to buy my interview outfit. I had just landed a dream job opportunity at a gaming studio and couldn’t wait to impress the recruiter. It was only after about two hours that my feet began to ache. Assuming they just needed a break, I went ahead and called it a day. The next morning my feet were black and blue. Still, I wasn’t worried. However my mother, true to form, made an appointment with my podiatrist the next day.

I knew everyone very well at the doctor’s office by that point and sat in the patient’s chair giving the tech advice about how to smooth things over with his wife, “Foot rubs fix everything and you’re the master at cleaning mine!” I said as he scrubbed my feet. Within a few minutes the doctor flew through the door in a rush and was in his stool poking and prodding at my feet. There was a quietness about him that usually didn’t stiffen the air the way it did that afternoon. He smacked his lips together and said,

“Well, we need to get X-rays.”

I was planning on going on a blind date immediately after my appointment so I hobbled off as quickly as I could. Before we left I mentioned I had plans. The doctor said he preferred if I didn’t go unless the guy looked like Brad Pitt (which he didn’t so, that was a no go). It was only a few days later the doctor sat my mother and me down and mentioned something that sounded like, “Shark Hot Foot” which I found really funny. It’s actually not really that funny.

Charcot Foot is a very rare condition that affects people with diabetes.

It is an autoimmune disease which causes the bones in the feet to break when one walks on them. Doctors don’t know much about the disease except for the fact that the circulation pumping through the bones causes them to splinter and crack from within during acute episodes. Acute episodes occur when the immune system decides to go Rambo and attack the feet. Medical professionals still do not understand what triggers a “flare”. It’s during these episodes that the bones break and crumble. Healing can take months and a lot of people find themselves wheelchair bound. Most only have Charcot in one foot. I have it in both.

Now, here I am.

I’m currently in a wheelchair but hope to someday walk again with the aid of orthopedic shoes and a walker.

It did take me a few weeks to process this news. I probably (most likely definitely) still have a lot of processing to do. However, the moment I realized how life changing this condition would be I closed my eyes and thanked my lucky stars. I thanked the world for preparing me in 2016 in a way nobody or nothing could have. If it had not been for all of my trials and tribulations I don’t believe I would have had the strength to accept such life altering news. I now know that all of the pain I have endured was to prepare me for Part II of my life, which is already filled with wonder and awe of the community of people I’m discovering who live with disabilities every day.

In closing, if you were to ask me for one piece of advice after everything I have been through so far, I would say, “No matter how terrible it may seem right now, know you are being prepared to do something great.” I have never recognized my purpose as fully as I do now. And that purpose is to help, even if it is just one person, but hopefully many people, to understand TID and its complications and to see that life can still be an amazing thing to live.

If you are a TID, or you’re the loved one of a TID,

you’re courageous, you can do this, and I will always be here if you need someone to cry with, vent to, or just ask a simple question. As my favorite poet of all time would say, “Let the great world spin for ever down the ringing grooves of change.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson


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Diabetes Won't Stop Me From Living

Diabetes Won’t Stop Me From Living

Diabetes Won’t Stop Me From Living

By: Nickie Eckes

I have type one diabetes. I was diagnosed back in February of 1990, at 5 years old, because my body decided it wanted to wage war upon itself and destroy the beta cells in my pancreas.

I remember going to the hospital, and I remember being terrified and having no idea why all these doctors were “torturing” me. I just wanted to go home with my mom, dad, and brother. They said my blood sugar was over 1000 and I had to stay.

The weeks that followed in the hospital were not fun. I had gotten used to getting up and playing and running on stop. Now I was being told I had to live on a strict schedule, only able to eat a certain amount of food at certain times, along with a shot of insulin to ensure that my blood glucose levels were maintained.

They also informed my parents of a place called Camp Sioux, a camp for kids living with diabetes to go and have a “regular” camp experience, but also learn about diabetes. I loved going and it made me feel not alone because everyone was diabetic, and I made some lifelong friends. The type that understands me when I just need “a minute” or “a snack” and understand all those diabetic jokes that make my stomach hurt from laughter.

I’ve dealt with the highs and the lows of this disease now for over 27 years. I’ve handled people telling me if only I would take better care of myself, I wouldn’t be this sick. I did nothing wrong to get this illness, it’s an autoimmune condition. My body can’t make the hormone insulin, which is what is needed for the simple sugars you get from food to enter your cells for energy.

I have to calculate everything I do in a day, from what I eat, to how much I’m going to be moving, along with stress levels and illness (such as common cold or the flu) just to ensure that my blood glucose level stays within a good range and I don’t pass out due to a low blood sugar, or go so high that I get diabetic ketoacidosis (meaning your body is producing a thing called ketones and those can make you very sick). And what works one day may not work the same the next day.

I had the years of rebellion and not caring what my numbers were. I did the whole I’m gonna die young anyway so who cares. And then I decided, I wasn’t going to let this disease keep me down. My friend calls diabetes livebetes because he says “it won’t stop me from living!”

 

Research has made many amazing developments since then, so much now that newly diagnosed people are being told that not much in their lives has to change; they just need to know where their numbers are and how much insulin flow take for those different numbers. We can even program those numbers into a pump and have it do the dosing for us (although not completely without thought from us).

We now have faster acting insulins that instead of having to wait 30 minutes after taking them to even start eating, we now only have to wait 5 minutes. We have what is called a Continuous Glucose Monitoring system (or CGM for short) that can tell us our levels every five minutes, which helps a lot given it can predict a high or a low before they occur, and we can correct the issue before it becomes an issue.

In fact this year, with any luck, I will get to obtain the new diabetes pump, with the first ever closed loop system on it! Both my doctor (who is also diabetic) and I are rather excited for this and are not so patiently waiting. There’s still always planning and calculating everything. It helps, but it’s not a cure. All of these advancements sound amazing and are fantastic, but it’s still a heavy load to carry.

Diabetes Won’t Stop Me From Living

I will keep fighting. I am strong. I hope to one day be able to say “I used to have diabetes.” And because of all this, I remind myself while I may have diabetes, it does NOT have me.


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I Have a New Dream

I Have a New Dream

I Have a New Dream

By: Lachy Sim

My names Lachy,
And this is the story of the day my life changed.

Ever since I was about 12 I had my mind set on being an air force fighter pilot. I was going to fight and defend my country, I was meant to fly planes. That’s as simple as my life was. That’s what I wanted to do.

Consequently, I joined the air force cadets, worked so hard in maths and physics and did every single thing I needed to purse in what I thought was to be my life. I even overworked myself last year (2016) in year 12 (final year) to get the university entrance score that I needed to get in. it was my destiny to fly jets and fight for my country.

I had applied for the job, and, extremely confidently completed the entrance test. That was my life. I was to be a fighter pilot and fight for my country.

Being my last year of high school I was under a lot of pressure to perform well and get the score I needed to fulfill my destiny. I was to be a pilot and fight for my country.

The stress in which I put myself under started to lead to weight loss, or so I thought it was the stress. But the weight kept falling off. It got to the point where I had lost over 15 kilograms (roughly 35 pounds) in a month. At work I was drinking up to 6 liters of water in 3 hours and urinating every 20 minutes.

It was at this point, 3 months after school finished I knew it wasn’t just stress. Something was up.

After consulting doctor google, and checking off every symptom it became clear I had T1D. But not me, being an 18 year old young, extremely fit and active man I was in denial.

“Not me, I walk 5kms a day”
“Fit people don’t get diabetes?”
“Nah I eat way to healthy for that to be me”
“As if, I don’t even have a family history of diabetes”
“Nah you’re born with it, how does that make sense?”

But after a family holiday mum caught on and insisted on taking me to my doctor “just for a checkup” she told me. “We will just get some blood tests to make sure you are okay”.

Sure enough, a day after going in for my “checkup” I get a call at 8am from my doctor.
“You must come in this morning. I need to discuss your blood tests”
And sure enough, my research had been confirmed.

That morning, with a HbA1c in the 20s I was diagnosed as a type one diabetic. That morning, the eleventh of January 2016, my life changed forever. That morning, I was never to join the defense force. That morning my dream was crushed.

Being told I can never achieve a dream I had worked so hard for, for so many years was initially absolutely heart breaking. I was going to be a pilot and fight for my country. That was why I was alive.

But instead of letting this drag me into the hole it most definitely had the potential to do, I lay in bed that night and thought to myself “I’m going to own this. I will be the best diabetic to come out of Geelong, or even Australia.” Since that day I have absolutely grabbed T1D by the horns and owned the fact I am a proud diabetic. I was no longer to be a pilot and fight for my country, it was that simple in my view.

I have a new dream…

I am to be an endocrinologist and help everyone in the world with type one. I am to tell my grandchildren that I once had diabetes. I am going to invent the artificial pancreas.

The hard work and dedication I put into my school was the best investment I ever made. I am off to start my journey in medicine at one of the best universities in Australia. This is just the start of an ever so exciting journey where I hope to use the drive and passion I withhold from my diagnoses and failure to fulfill what I thought was destiny, to punch diabetes right in the face, like it can sometimes feel like it does to its victims.

Another ever so important message I’ve learnt from my experience is that no one is indestructible, even a fit 18 year old. You never can tell when the crocodile of life will snap. As cliche as it is, Live every day like it’s your last.


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finding fulfillment in personal training

Finding Fulfillment in Personal Training

Finding Fulfillment in Personal Training

By: Jordan Lane

I’ve been a Type 1 Diabetic for 18 years. I was diagnosed at the age of 5. I guess you could say I don’t know a life without it. It took me awhile to realize well maybe this is a blessing, we all know it’s an everyday battle. But I’ve found such a great passion for life.

My father passed away unexpectedly when I was 13, I was quite devastated losing my best friend. As time went on my mother was working her self too hard owning a cleaning business. She was working at a lovely private gym and introduced me to a trainer there, being so young, super skinny, and sad. I was nervous but eventually found myself enjoying it.

My trainer was a wonderful person who taught me so much outside of just exercise. He was my role model. Over the course of 7 years with him, I fell short with 4 left knee surgeries. A lot was lost. But somewhere along the way I found hope.

My mother no longer able to work, I tried my best to get a job to bring money home for the bills, some days good some bad. I didn’t want to give up. I had too much to live for. I eventually decided I wanted to become a trainer and work in health and fitness.

One of my favorite things is helping others. And it’s amazing all what exercise and nutrition can do for you. I’ve been in the field for some time now and still am in love with it. I’ve had some great success stories and more to come.

My friends and family know me best for being positive. I try to. But behind close doors, I’m not always. I eventually spark myself up again. The past couple years I’ve really cranked down on my diabetes and it’s been going well, I still dislike lows more than anything, juice boxes and I get along well.

I’ve always enjoyed being active, from weight training to mountain biking and cycling. Currently training for the Tour de Cure! Haven’t felt my legs in awhile now haha. I’m looking forward to meeting more Type 1 Diabetics. If I can sum it all up, yes the disease is awful but nothing should stop us from going after what we want to achieve. Especially us, we’ve learned so much, gained more strength, and brought hope to a fulfillment.

Just keep it up and carry on, go do everything you want in life. Nothing should stop us. I hope we all continue to raise awareness and share our stories to inspire others. Happy glucose numbers to everyone!


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You Are Never Given More Than You Can Handle

You Are Never Given More Than You Can Handle

“You Are Never Given More Than You Can Handle”

By: Amy Payne

“You are never given more than you can handle” — I have heard this many times over my life, and it has never really stuck until this past year. I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes 36 years ago at the age of 6. I never really thought much about it thanks to my amazing family who never made me feel different.

The only thoughts I had were that I would likely have horrible complications and die young from my Type1 Diabetes. Besides those thoughts, I truly did not think too much about it. I lived my life to the fullest thinking I should live a big happy life now because my future was going to be bad and short.

As time went by technology/drugs improved greatly and after living a somewhat reckless no fear life through my late teens and twenties my diabetes changed. All of a sudden I could not feel my lows/hypoglycemia anymore and my no big deal Diabetes had changed.

After a few years of trying to manage the lows with my new husband we moved to Denver, CO and went to the Barbara Davis Center. They told me I had had Type 1 Diabetes for over 25 years and had most likely avoided any major complications (except for my eyes, etc). I started crying right there in the office. Endocrinologists had stressed my whole life the importance of tight control otherwise I would have complications.

They have since changed their way of advising diabetics as they realize the old way of instilling fear of complications did more harm than good. Unfortunately being from the generation of 1980 diagnosed Type 1’s and even after being told I have bypassed most complications I still would rather be low than high and to this day feel the same, ironically it is the lows that threaten my life now.

Let’s cut to 6 years later –

The cost of Type 1 Diabetic supplies have skyrocketed (the US insured populations out-of-pocket costs for insulin increased by 89 percent from 2000 to 2010 for insulin alone) and with the 89% conservative estimate increase of my insulin alone depression entered my life.

I lost it one day at the Barbara Davis Center- United Healthcare was forcing me to change from Novolog Insulin (that I had been on for approx 10 years) to Humalog Insulin (due to their contract with the manufacturer of Humalog, not for the best interest of their clients).

I was so upset because of the forced switch and how dare they when my Diabetes was so hard to control on a strict regimen and now you are forcing me to change insulin because of your financial interest vs my health best interest, I literally had a breakdown in the Dr’s office.

This along with the never ending increasing expenses to manage my Type 1 Diabetes just to simply stay alive seemed too much to handle and the happy and strong Amy had finally broken down after 34 years of being a tough Type 1 Diabetic.

Barbara Davis was amazing and helped me with my depression (by the way Type 1’s are prone to depression due to insulin is a hormone that we inject multiple times a day, the fluctuation of our blood sugar levels makes us feel bad, loss of sleep, stress and the 24/7 never ending demand of our disease). I also have an additional theory that the blood glucose testing numerous times a day or with a CGM every three minutes along with your A1C results contribute to depression in Type 1’s.

You are judged by a number constantly –

(You are high, you are low, you are good, you are bad). It is a constant number that gives a judgement on your control of a disease that is impossible to control and I firmly believe it does a number on your psyche.

I am sure Dr’s would agree with my thesis. It was a relief to know what I was feeling was normal, and it is okay to finally say you know what this is hard, I have a lot to deal with and guess what I don’t feel that great most days!

Yes it could be worse and I could have cancer but you know what Type 1 Diabetes sucks and is really really hard to manage. It is a very misunderstood disease, being confused with Type 2 and people thinking you caused this by eating too many candy bars vs the fact that Type 1 is an autoimmune disease where my body attacked my beta insulin-producing cells in my pancreas preventing it from ever producing insulin ever again.

The misunderstanding hurts –

You hear comments like you don’t look like you have diabetes and you know you can reverse it with diet. NO, you cannot! I am good today. I am tired. I continue to be strong and continue to fight Type 1 Diabetes EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Type 1 Diabetes builds character, strength, and maturity. Every experience, every interaction, no matter how bad it might seem, has the ability to shape you, to mold you, and to help you become the person you were born to be.

And if it seems that life has given you “a lot” to handle; it is only because it knows how powerful you truly are. It wants you to discover the courage, the wisdom, and the strength that lie deep within you.

Type 1 Diabetes does not define me — it has built my strong character to handle anything!


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my silver lining

My Silver Lining

My Silver Lining

Having this disease for so long I’ve noticed that I’ve grown accustomed to this “normal”. Being told “you have it good, at least it’s not cancer” and that pains me because I often feel like my struggle doesn’t matter. I then question my attitude towards this disease, whether I’m capable, whether I’m just ungrateful.

But in all honestly, this disease is hard. Not once in awhile… But. Every. Single. Day. Nowadays I just feel like I’m on autopilot. I’m not one to sit in sorrow. I know there’s many who have it far worse. I’m blessed to be typing this and sharing my story with the world. But for not one moment will I forget the horror I have witnessed. The nightmares I’ve experienced that were actually real. I’ve been in lows so deep that if you would have pinched me, I wouldn’t have felt it. Highs were I was in DKA and my body was depleted and fighting to gain energy.

Every experience, every nightmare, every close call has taught me a lot about myself. I’ve grown stronger than I could have ever imagined. I enjoy the simple things in life. I appreciate the devices and insulin that keeps me alive. I thank god every morning I wake up, and get the opportunity to kiss my children. Some may think that seems awfully dramatic. “It’s a manageable disease…” Yes, it’s manageable but any minor slip up and it can be catastrophic. I walk a fine line everyday. I respect diabetes. I hate it, but I’ve learned to take control over it and not let it control me. And to never take life for granted.

At this point in my life, I know I could go on and live happy and manage this disease as best as I can, and not really speak about it. But I’m tired. And I know others are tired too. When you put years of sleepless nights, no days off, the rollercoaster ride all rolled into one, it takes a toll. I can put my happy face on and pretend everything’s okay, but there’s going to be days when things aren’t exactly okay, and that fight will never end until there’s a cure.

Some days it does feel like it’s all too much. Like I’m a hamster on a wheel. Wondering where the finish line is. So that I can finally let all my worries escape me. I’ll admit the internal scars of this disease has shaped me. I don’t know who I would be if I didn’t have diabetes. Sometimes I think I even feed off of it. It keeps me grounded. It’s given me the utmost compassion and empathy for others. I’ve endured the worst but I’ve also experienced the absolute best in this life.. and even more so to come. And with this journey, while immensely chaotic, is my silver lining.

“We are the silver lining in any and every dark cloud we could ever find. There is no need to go looking for the light when you bring it with you.” —Tyler Knott Gregson


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To Every Warrior Battling Diabetes, This Is For You

To Every Warrior Battling Diabetes, This Is For You

Hey warrior —

I just want to say you’re doing amazing! Even on the days you feel weak. The days you feel tired. The days you feel you’ve had enough. Especially on those days because that’s when you’re fighting your hardest. Your vulnerability and even your weaknesses make you strong. Make you powerful, resilient, unstoppable.

You’ve made it thus far. I mean look how far you’ve come!

Whether you’ve been diagnosed for a day—a week—1 year—5 years—20 years, you’re beating all the odds against you heroically. You continue to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders day in and day out with such profound grace and humility.

Don’t let those crazy numbers that show on the blood sugar meter discourage you from your success.

I’m sure you might see at least one “high” or “low” number today. If so, keep going. If not, keep going. Either way, you’re winning because you don’t let diabetes stop you from living. 

Those needles that create those scars? Well, they tell a story.

A story about how you wake up everyday to fight the same demons that left you so tired from the night before. You should never be ashamed because it just means that you are stronger than diabetes—and you have the proof to show for it.

Next time you go to take your insulin—just know you’re not alone.

Try to not to let the fear overwhelm you and dwindle your spirit. This is an incredibly difficult and daunting challenge. Where you don’t always know what’s ahead. But you were given the strength to face this challenge. Just take a moment and marvel at what an amazing gift it is to just be alive. To be all that you can be. Go show the world how you live beyond this disease because it doesn’t define you.

Ask yourself today –

“How you can use this disability to empower others?” How can you turn a negative into a positive?” Be bold enough to raise your voice. Speak for what matters, speak for others who don’t have a voice. Be the light in someone’s darkness. Use this as a higher calling for that there is a purpose in your struggle and all that you go through. Take the reins—because today you got this!

You are amazing.

You are heroic.

You are a warrior.